Be a HELPER, Not an Enabler

FACT: In the Kingdom of God… we have far too many people who are “too nice”

That was pretty shocking to read from a preacher, wasn’t it?

But it is true… there are far too many people out there… who out of the love that is in their heart for their families, friends, and others… will bail them out of trouble time after time… after time again.

…and instead of helping that family member or friend, that person is inadvertantly destroying them with their love.

A person like this is called an enabler. An enabler is simply defined as, “One who does for someone else… things that the OTHER person should be doing and can do, for themselves.”

As Kingdom people… we are called to help each other out. But in helping, we must never “enable” someone to continue to act and move in a path of self-destruction.

A helper is defined as, “One who does something for someone that they are NOT capable of doing themselves.”

King Solomon, the wisest man of all times declared, “A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it AGAIN.”  (Proverbs 19:19)

Sometimes… the best love we can show to our hurting friends & family members is to allow them to receive the penalty that is due for their actions.

Many times, this is tough for us to endure through… watching someone get locked up in jail, or getting evicted out of their house, or suffering through a bad relationship… but at times, this is what is needed to knock sense into a person’s head.

Sometimes the best solution after repeatedly dealing with loved ones is for us to close up our wallets, close up our mouths, and close up our homes, until that person gets it.

Because if you keep on bailing people out of trouble repeatedly… you will have to do it for the rest of your life… which is NO fair to you, and does not help that person in the long-term.

Until next time, be blessed… and walk in God’s abundance for your life today.

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Written by Daniel Wiafe in: Attitude,Relationship | Tags: , ,

Smash Your Way through Walls… by Smiling!

Many of you will agree with me… we live in an unhappy generation, where people tend to gravitate towards being cold towards others… and are all about self.

But there is a SIMPLE way that we can melt through some of the coldest hearts… and demolish through some of the thickest walls that people raise around themselves.

This can all be done by smiling.

You don’t need to talk… or take alot of time… or even know a person to smile at them. A smile is not intrusive… a smile is not offensive… but a smile is one of the QUICKEST ways we can smash our way through emotional & personal walls that people raise up.

People naturally open up to people who smile. You bless others to have a good day when you smile at them. If someone is having a bad day… your smile can bless them. If YOU are having a bad day… your smile can encourage yourself, and literally “trick” you into having a better day!

A simple smile is so POWERFUL… Dale Carnegie listed it the first of 6 ways to get people to like you… in his Best Selling Book… “How to Win Friends and Influence People“.

Check out this poem written by Barbara Hauck, age 13:

She smiled at a sorrowful stranger.
The smile seemed to make him feel better.
He remembered past kindness of a friend and wrote him a thank-you letter.
The friend was so pleased with the thank-you letter that he left a large tip after lunch.
The waitress, surprised by the size of the tip, bet the whole thing on a hunch.
The next day she picked up her winnings and gave part to a man on the street.
The man on the street was grateful; for two days he’d had nothing to eat.
After he finished his dinner, he left for his small dingy room.
(He didn’t know at the moment that he might be facing his doom.)
On the way he picked up a shivering puppy and took him home to get warm.
The puppy was very grateful to be out of the storm.
That night the house caught fire.
The puppy barked the alarm.
He barked ‘til he woke the whole household and saved everybody from harm.
One of the boys that he rescued grew up to be a President.
All this because of a simple smile that hadn’t cost a cent.

Until next time, be blessed and walk in God’s abundance today!

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Written by Daniel Wiafe in: Attitude,Inspiration,Joy,Relationship | Tags: , ,

Don’t Allow People to Use You as a Welcome Mat

Alright, this post is probably not going to be for everybody — because I know that there’s some of you who out there who have a LOT of fight in you… so I definitely don’t want to put anymore fight in you! (LOL)

But for some of you out there who are very passive natured… or perhaps you are more on the introverted side, personality-wise… there are steps that you NEED to put into place, in order to make sure that you don’t give people permission to ‘walk all over you’.

Yes, I said permission… because anytime a person is walked all over by another individual (or group of people), the HUGE majority of the time it is because that person does not stand up for themselves… or their rights.

So why do people allow others to walk all over them… even at the expense of their happiness, freedom, joy, family, finances, and sometimes even health?

I personally believe for the most part it is because:

(1) Many of us who are a part of the Kingdom, believe that in order for us to be meek (Matthew 5:5)… we need to be cowardly, which leads others to mistake our “meekness” for weakness!

But guess what? I have GOOD news for you… when He says meek, it means that you should be ‘humble in your spirit or manner’. Basically it means that yes, you should be humble around God and man.

God DOES NOT want a weak man or woman of God. I repeat — He does not want a weak man or woman to operate in His Kingdom.

To be humble means that you are not to be a show-off, prideful, or carnal… but that you consider every man (or woman) to be your equal. It by no means, translates to you being ‘weak and cowardly’

(2) Many people don’t set up boundaries for their lives. Boundaries are needed for almost every aspect of our life if we are to live fully. Boundaries are need for you to live a life of normalcy. Boundaries are needed for you to take control of your life.

But to often, people allow their jobs, businesses, or ministries to cross a boundary, and interfere with their family life. They are not able to spend quality and needed time with their spouses or children… and this can be detrimental.

Many times we allow friends or families to “cross” over boundary lines in areas which they should not interfere in. If you are a family man or woman… don’t allow a mother-in-law or father or whoever, to cross the line and TELL you how you should live your marriage or raise your kids.

It’s is wise to take advice… it is unwise to take orders (unless you’re in the military).

DISCLAIMER: I am not saying that one should rebel against leadership… because this would be wrong also. Everyone in this world, needs to fall under the authority of somebody else… this is a system I believe God uses to keep us accountable.

But by no means, don’t allow those in leadership or authority over you… to cross boundaries into your personal life that they have no business being in. If you feel that a boss or one who is above you is crossing boundaries… don’t rebel against them, but kindly sit down and address the situation (and your concerns) with them.

This is how we do things in a Godly way and manner.

Whatever you do… always make people feel welcome around you… but remember, you are NOT a welcome mat for people to come along and step on you, rub dirt in your face, and kick.

Be SUPER blessed this weekend… and walk in God’s abundance for your life today!

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Written by Daniel Wiafe in: Attitude,Relationship | Tags: , ,

Do People Feel WELCOME Around You?

Alright… I will start off by saying this… if you have NEVER been to the Caribbean (or outside of the country that you currently live in)… you must go visit a foreign places and lands, as those will be some of the most enlightening times of your life!

That said… my wife and I just arrived back home from our vacation to Puerto Rico a few hours ago… and the experience of visiting a foreign land truly made my little world, get just a LITTLE bit larger. (and yes, I know P.R. is an American territory, but trust me… it is unlike anything you’ll EVER see in the continental United States)

As we were down there on the island…  exploring back and forth & interacting with many of the Puerto Ricans, for one of the first times in my life, I felt like the foreigner because I spoke ONLY a little bit of Spanish (enough to barely get me by)… and my wife spoke none at all!

Fortunately many of the Puerto Ricans were bilingual… but it seemed that just as many of them weren’t, and only spoke Spanish.

If any of you know what I’m talking about… you can agree that when you are not well-versed in the language of a country that you are in… you can feel somewhat lost, somewhat silly & goofy, a bit out-of-place, and slightly confused.

Rude awakening, yes… but now I know to a small degree what many Latino and other foreigners who first move to the United States feel like.

But, for the most part, I felt very welcomed in this new, tropical land that we visited… and I guess it helped that as tourists we were dishing out money, money, money (LOL).

So I started pondering this thought, “Am I (or any of us) the type of person… that goes out of their way to make other people feel welcome?”

In Mark 2:13-17, the apostle writes about how Jesus walked with, talked with, and had dinner with tax collectors, the sick, and other “sinners”… and how the Pharisees were anxious to rip him a new one because of Jesus’ choice of friends.

When you look at the character of Jesus and who He was… he totally exemplified the personality traits that we should all have. He welcomed ALL who came to Him. Now He might have put a few of those folks who came to Him in place… or scolded them… but whenever that happened, He did it in love… in order to better that person.

Jesus didn’t care if a person had a low socio-economic status… He didn’t care if they were a whore… He didn’t care if they stole… He didn’t care if they were blind… He didn’t care if they were super-wealthy… All who came to Him, were welcome.

So the question I would like to ask you (and don’t worry, I asked myself the same question — I didn’t want to be a hypocrite)… is this:

Do people feel welcome around you?

And no, I’m NOT talking about the people that you like… or love to be around… because that’s easy for you to make them feel welcome around you!

I’m talking about the people that you can’t stand being around. The people who owe you money from 5 years ago. The person who all your friends talk about because they’re different. Do you make them feel welcome?

That person who is a loner. That person you see everyday on the corner begging for money… and you think that if you give them money, they’ll spend it on liquor. Do you make them feel welcome?

Let’s go deeper. How about that person who is a different color than you. Yes I know that you’re not a racist, but do you shy away from a person or keep a person at distance…. just because they’re black, white, yellow, or red… just because they don’t “look like” you?

How about that person who is Jewish… or they’re Islamic… or Hindu… or dare I say they are an athiest… and don’t believe in God at all? Do you make them feel welcome around you?

What many people don’t realize is that walking with a welcoming spirit can be a ministry all in itself. When you make people feel welcome around you… you can cut down the tension, you can cut down the barriers that separate many of us… and this is all because making someone feel welcome around you is an act of love.

Now that’s not to say that you accept a person’s sin or moral defiencies. That should NEVER happen… but there’s an old saying that I heard once that says, ‘Accept the Sinner, not the Sin’.

As a person who 100% believes in the Bible as the Word of God… I understand that Jesus is”…the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No man comes the Father… except through Him” (John 14:6). But that will NEVER stop me from making a person who thinks or believes differently from me… feel welcomed or loved.

You see, when you make someone feel welcome around you… through either conversation, or helping them, or befriending them, or something as simple as a caring smile… you are causing walls to fall down.

Why? Because you are letting that person know that you value them as a person, though they may look different from you, believe different from you, and may not be as popular or as high on the social ladder as you are…. you let them know they are welcomed… and therefore, they are loved!

By making people feel welcome around you… you are doing a great work… and are guaranteeing yourself that when you are in a vulnerable situation, that others will make you feel welcome around them.

Please let me know what you think on the blog or on the discussion group on the TodayAbundance group page on Facebook. I would like to hear what you all think!

So until tomorrow… “Nos vemos más tarde y ser bendecido!” (See you later and be blessed!)

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Written by Daniel Wiafe in: Attitude,Inspiration,Relationship | Tags: , ,

The GREATEST Law in the Universe!

I sincerely believe that one of the greatest barriers that many of us have when it comes to God, church, and spiritual things… is that we tend to follow a RELIGION, rather than have a RELATIONSHIP with God.

I may step on a few toes with this one and lose a few members off of this Facebook group or the blog… but hey, I was NEVER one to conform.  (o:

Simply put, religion is man’s search for God. Religion gives you a long list and set of burdensome, complex rules that you MUST follow or your salvation is at risk. Religion tells you don’t do this, don’t do that, wear these type of clothes or you’rr unholy… act this way or you’re unacceptable to the Almighty.

Basically put, religion tells you what to do to “look like and sound like” you are a godly person in other people’s eyes. Religion puts you into “shackles” and keeps you weighted down in fear on a daily basis… because you think that you might “slip up” and fall out of God’s favor.

Relationship with our heavenly Father, on the other hand… is what we MUST seek in order to have a fullness of life. Relationship means that you know God, you talk to Him, you listen to Him, you confide in Him, and you TRUST Him.

Relationship allows you to come to God, just as you are… with no condemnation. Relationship allows us to come to God, as messed up as we are… and on a daily basis, allow His power to change us on the inside, for the better.

True relationship with your Heavenly Father doesn’t tell you that you can’t eat this, or you can’t wear that, or you must worship God on certain days, and relationship does NOT tell you that you must perform certain rituals in order to remain in God’s grace. Relationship sets you free in life, “…for whom the Son (Jesus) sets free… is free indeed!” (John 8:36)

That said, the GREATEST law in the universe is this: LOVE.

Without love, there is NO relationship!

Consider this: Jesus was once asked by the Jewish teachers of his day, what is the greatest commandment. Out of the 613 laws and customs that the Jews had back in their day… Jesus was challenged to pick the best one.

His answer was this: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:34-40)

When you walk in love… you have fulfilled ANY commandment that there is. Love does not allow you to steal, because you respect the other person’s property. Love does not allow you to murder… because you honor that person’s life. Love does not allow you to cheat on your husband or wife… because you respect the sanctity of your marriage and your spouse’s feelings.

Love does not allow you to talk and gossip about people behind their backs… because you respect their feelings. Love does not allow you to hate or forget about God… because you honor the fact that He fearfully and wonderfully made you.

Love allows you to apologize when you are in the wrong… and even at times when you are in the right, just so you can make peace with your brother or sister.

Love allows you to go that extra mile for somebody else… even if they don’t “deserve” another second of your time.

Love allows you to see the good in people… rather than ONLY seeing their flaws and weaknesses.

Love does NO harm, love does NO evil, love does NO wrong, and love does NO damage!

This week remember this: A relationship with God is based on what you SHOULD do, rather than what you can’t do. And what you should do, is walk in love. Be blessed this week friend and keep on inviting your friends to join the group if you like what you receive each week… we are getting close to the 500 member mark!

If you have any remarks or comments to this post… feel free to put it on the blog below. Be blessed and walk in God’s abundance for your life today!

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The Best Battles are the Ones Not Fought!

When people talk about us… say negative things about us… challenge us and our views… debate us… or they just downright act silly… many times we have a tendency of getting defensive, and getting defensive REAL quickly!

But did you know that in life… we don’t ALWAYS have to be on the defensive… or be out there looking to start a fight? Did you know that there are some “battles” that are started in front us… that we don’t NEED to fight?

For some of us this makes sense… but for others it seems like that couldn’t work. But consider what was told to an ancient king named Jehoshaphat (we’ll call him Jeho for short) back in the good ole days when Israel was conquering lands for it’s territory:

Do not be afraid or discouraged of the army before you. For the battle is NOT yours… it’s the Lord’s!” (2 Chronicles 20:15)

What this is saying to you and me in 2009 is this… you don’t need to be afraid or fearful of what may happen when people rise up against you with their words or actions… because this battle NEVER was yours, but it belongs to God Almighty…

…and God NEVER loses a battle!

There are some battles that come before you or that you’re tempted to fight in… that you don’t even need to lift a finger or say a word, because God is going to fight it (and win it) for you!

And then there are other times in life… where WE are the aggressors… and WE pick fights that don’t need to be started! (Uh Oh, I’m talking about you!) We need to come to the realization that we don’t live in a perfect world… and at times, people will do LITTLE things that irritate and irk us… but why should we make a mountain out of a mole hill, because we just make things WORSE that way.

For example, just because a spouse may leave cupboards open… leave the cap off of the toothpaste bottle… or perhaps leaves clothes lying around the house… or maybe don’t have dinner cooked on time… does that mean you need to start World War 3?

No it doesn’t…

Your husband, wife, family members, and closest friends are supposed to be on your team… so there’s RARELY a need to instigate a fight with them, becasue your on the same side!

In war, when you harm somebody who is on the same side as you… it’s called friendly fire. I sincerely believe we have TOO MUCH friendly fire going on in our families. We need to learn to solve disagreements in a friendly manner… and even let other people have their way when it comes to small issues.

In conclusion, we need to pick our battles wisely… because in the end, sometimes that the battles that we win… are the ones we didn’t fight in the first place! Until tomorrow… be blessed and walk in God’s abundance today.

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Written by Daniel Wiafe in: Attitude,Relationship | Tags: , , ,

When is it Okay to Hold Grudges? The Results will SHOCK you!

If you’re like me (which I’m sure you are)… somebody at LEAST once in your lifetime has done you wrong or have caused great pain to you… either emotionally or physically.

Yes, I know… you’re probably thinking, “If only I had a dollar for each time someone did me wrong… I’d be on a beach right now in Tahiti, basking in the sun, without a care or worry in the world!”

Alright, maybe that’s just my fantasy that I’d fulfill if I was SUPER rich… but don’t miss the point. We have all been victims of “terrible” people who have done us wrong in the past, perhaps might be doing us wrong at this very moment… and with great assurity, I can say that all of us will no doubt get done wrong by people in the future!

But does that give us the right to hold grudges against people?

What is a grudge? It is simply defined as, “holding ill feelings on the inside -or- having resentment strong enough to justify retaliation”.

Think about that… do you hold ill feelings towards people? Do you feel like “getting even” with some folks?

Because someone spoke disrespectfully to you… or called you out of your name, is it okay to hold a grudge against them?

Because someone stole from you, lied to you, cheated you… does that give us the right to hold a grudge against them?

The fact that a family member or someone close to a person harmed them either physically or sexually in their youth or in their innocence… as wicked as that is… does that justify a person holding a boiling grudge for the next 50 to 70 years of their life?

Consider what the Bible says:

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)”


What God lets us know in His Word is that yes, all of us as human beings have been disrespected, done wrong by people, and seriously grieved by others… but forgive those knuckleheads who diss you, because I… your heavenly Father have forgiven you of the wrongs you have committed against Me.

You see anytime we don’t walk in love towards other people, anytime we lie to others [even white lies], anytime we cheat someone, gossip behind people’s backs… anytime we have lust in our hearts, or are jealous of others, or curse God’s name or use the name of Jesus in vain… we are grieving our Creator, but yet our God has the ability to “turn the other cheek” and forgive us and keep moving.

It is a well-known fact that the HUGE majority of time that we hold grudges against people who do us wrong… it does more harm to us, than to the person who committed the wrong against us!

By holding in the unforgiveness, we develop ulcers, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, negative emotions, etc… while the other person just keeps on living life, smiling and having a grand ole time!

It is a necessity for us to forgive others… not primarily for them, but for YOU! If you hold grudges on the inside… it will impact you and the people who truely love you, and have to live everyday around you.

So pretty much, for your own health (both physical and spiritual), happiness, and well-being you owe it to yourself to forgive people that have done you wrong (even if they are the most wicked person on earth in your own opinion). Doing this will FREE you from walking around in anger, meanness, and negative attitudes!


“Okay, you got me. It’s NOT okay to have grudges. So how do I forgive..?”

Don’t worry, I’ll tell you in 5 EASY steps to help you start on your journey of forgiveness:

(1) Realize the hate you feel towards your enemy does him/her NO harm — not even the slightest.
(2) Make a list of good things that have emerged as a result of the bad a person did to you.
(3) Press <STOP> on the DVD Player and don’t replay the negative event in your mind over and over again.
(4) Stop telling people over & over again about how somebody did you wrong. Let the past be the past, so that the future has room to fit in your life.
(5) Untie yourself from the person who did you so wrong.
Many times our hatred for others who have literally devastated us, literally “ties” us to them. It is up to you to break that bondage of hate. You don’t need to be connected by hate anymore…. because God wants you to be free!

Hope this helps someone… be prayerful, be positive, forward this to your family and friends… and until next time walk in God’s Abundance today!


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Written by Daniel Wiafe in: Life,Relationship | Tags: , , , ,

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