When is it Okay to Hold Grudges? The Results will SHOCK you!

If you’re like me (which I’m sure you are)… somebody at LEAST once in your lifetime has done you wrong or have caused great pain to you… either emotionally or physically.

Yes, I know… you’re probably thinking, “If only I had a dollar for each time someone did me wrong… I’d be on a beach right now in Tahiti, basking in the sun, without a care or worry in the world!”

Alright, maybe that’s just my fantasy that I’d fulfill if I was SUPER rich… but don’t miss the point. We have all been victims of “terrible” people who have done us wrong in the past, perhaps might be doing us wrong at this very moment… and with great assurity, I can say that all of us will no doubt get done wrong by people in the future!

But does that give us the right to hold grudges against people?

What is a grudge? It is simply defined as, “holding ill feelings on the inside -or- having resentment strong enough to justify retaliation”.

Think about that… do you hold ill feelings towards people? Do you feel like “getting even” with some folks?

Because someone spoke disrespectfully to you… or called you out of your name, is it okay to hold a grudge against them?

Because someone stole from you, lied to you, cheated you… does that give us the right to hold a grudge against them?

The fact that a family member or someone close to a person harmed them either physically or sexually in their youth or in their innocence… as wicked as that is… does that justify a person holding a boiling grudge for the next 50 to 70 years of their life?

Consider what the Bible says:

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13)”


What God lets us know in His Word is that yes, all of us as human beings have been disrespected, done wrong by people, and seriously grieved by others… but forgive those knuckleheads who diss you, because I… your heavenly Father have forgiven you of the wrongs you have committed against Me.

You see anytime we don’t walk in love towards other people, anytime we lie to others [even white lies], anytime we cheat someone, gossip behind people’s backs… anytime we have lust in our hearts, or are jealous of others, or curse God’s name or use the name of Jesus in vain… we are grieving our Creator, but yet our God has the ability to “turn the other cheek” and forgive us and keep moving.

It is a well-known fact that the HUGE majority of time that we hold grudges against people who do us wrong… it does more harm to us, than to the person who committed the wrong against us!

By holding in the unforgiveness, we develop ulcers, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, negative emotions, etc… while the other person just keeps on living life, smiling and having a grand ole time!

It is a necessity for us to forgive others… not primarily for them, but for YOU! If you hold grudges on the inside… it will impact you and the people who truely love you, and have to live everyday around you.

So pretty much, for your own health (both physical and spiritual), happiness, and well-being you owe it to yourself to forgive people that have done you wrong (even if they are the most wicked person on earth in your own opinion). Doing this will FREE you from walking around in anger, meanness, and negative attitudes!


“Okay, you got me. It’s NOT okay to have grudges. So how do I forgive..?”

Don’t worry, I’ll tell you in 5 EASY steps to help you start on your journey of forgiveness:

(1) Realize the hate you feel towards your enemy does him/her NO harm — not even the slightest.
(2) Make a list of good things that have emerged as a result of the bad a person did to you.
(3) Press <STOP> on the DVD Player and don’t replay the negative event in your mind over and over again.
(4) Stop telling people over & over again about how somebody did you wrong. Let the past be the past, so that the future has room to fit in your life.
(5) Untie yourself from the person who did you so wrong.
Many times our hatred for others who have literally devastated us, literally “ties” us to them. It is up to you to break that bondage of hate. You don’t need to be connected by hate anymore…. because God wants you to be free!

Hope this helps someone… be prayerful, be positive, forward this to your family and friends… and until next time walk in God’s Abundance today!

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Written by Daniel Wiafe in: Life,Relationship | Tags: , , , ,

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